Theoretically, building confidence shouldn’t be complicated. And theoretically, confidence coaching shouldn’t be necessary.
The key word here, of course, is theoretically.
Because in practice, things act differently. – Like they often do.
Building confidence should be easy. Because the principles aren’t very hard to grasp.
Most of us even know most of them. In fact, here are a bunch of great principles for confidence, straight from the top of my head:
- Have a goal in life that you continually work towards
- Evaluate yourself continually
- Practice active appreciation towards life and your resources
- Learn something new every day
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Do something you’re passionate about
- See the possibilities, not the limitations
- Get out of your comfort zone and do things that unsettle you
- Practice physical exercise 20-30 minutes daily
- Meditate 10-20 minutes daily
- Eat lots of vegetables, legumes, whole grains, fibres and protein
- Don’t eat processed foods, junk foods, starchy carbs, saturated fats, candy, cake, etc.
- Don’t smoke or do excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol
- Sleep 7-8 hours every night
- Surround yourself with people who support and affirm you
- Shun people who bring you down and hold you back
- Stand up for yourself, speak up when you want to, fear nothing, never give up, accept what you cannot change, etc.
I could go on, but hopefully you get the point.
… Which is, like I said, that by far most normal people know by far most of these things already. I mean, most of these points are common sense and knowledge.
Why, then, is building confidence so hard for some people?
Because there’s a difference between “easy” and “simple”.
Casually sketching the formula for a great life is, in fact, almost insultingly easy. However, carrying it out in practice is what’s hard. And, for many people, downright impossible without help.
The good news, then, is that it’s simple.
In fact, building confidence is like building muscle. It’s hard, and it takes effort, but it gets easier over time and if done consistently.
Also, what I’ve found is that the same principle goes for the vast majority of people: It doesn’t matter as much what you specifically do with your life rather than the fact that you do it while you maintain building confidence.
In fact, if you keep building confidence continually, it won’t matter much what you do, because you’ll be able to do pretty much anything. And you’ll be confident enough to calmly accept the things you cannot do — for now, anyway.
It’s like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, or even owning a car: If you want it to keep working, you gotta maintain it.
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’ll take time and effort. But that’s no reason not to do it anyway. Because there is no such reason. There is only the excuses that we make for ourselves out of fear.
This week, get out of your comfort zone. Do just ONE thing that really scares you, but which you really want to do. It could be talking to someone about a problem; or how you feel about them. It could be walking up to a complete stranger asking for directions. As long as it’s something that really unsettles you.
Why would we do something like this? Because, when practiced regularly, getting out of our comfort zone makes us grow. It strengthens us and makes us more confident. So for goodness’ sakes: Do it, and keep it up.